Why Don’t You “Like” Me Anymore???

Facebook has ushered in a new era of expectations from our “friends.”  I’m sure I’m not the first person who has noticed the downright ridiculousness of people killing other people over an “unliked” status or a “defriending.”  And it doesn’t help that Facebook seems to be in a perpetual beta stage, always changing things, always “fixing” things, and it’s not uncommon for whole messages and notifications to just get lost in the cyber-shuffle.  I try to take Facebook interactions with a grain of salt.

facebook engancha

Iz on ur Facebook, hittin’ on ur girlfrienz

That said,  it’s hard not to be insulted when you know a family member or good friend has been online because they have been posting/forwarding stupid pictures and “inspirational” sayings, but they don’t respond to a message you specifically tagged them in, or bother to stop by and comment when, say, your cat dies (eh hem…)  

Couple that with the passive/aggressive use of emoticons and LOLs after a barbed comment, or fact that it is hard to tell tone of voice from an instant message, OR the fact that people seem to magically grow brass balls when they don’t have to say something directly to someone’s face, and you have endless potential for misunderstandings and out and out comment wars.

And I don’t even really need to go into the fact that Facebook makes it that much easier (and tempting) for people so inclined to cheat on their partners.  Wouldn’t even mention it except to say that the majority of the same people are apparently too dumb to remember they are on a public forum, and invariably do something to get themselves caught in the act, like this douchebag here did recently via Twitter.

But anyway, back on point…   Invariably, many of us will begin to question our friends’ dedication and ourselves.   Why did she not answer me?  Why did he not “like” that?  Is she mad at me?  What a dick!  

I have hidden some of my friends’ status updates because, while I like them and do not wish to actually “defriend” them, they may post things that bother me in some way, whether due to the fact that the subjects are generally boring or just annoying, or by sheer number of posts (HOW MANY music videos do you need to post in the span of a single hour???)  It is their right to post what they want on their wall…  And it is my right to not have to see it.  I don’t want to listen to your crappy music, I don’t want to be converted, I don’t want to read rehashed “inspirational ” sayings that came from everyone’s mouth but your own, and I DEFINITELY don’t want to see pictures of dead babies and/or puppies, or be guilt tripped with “I think I know which of my friends will [repost] this.”  

Likewise, I’m sure some people find my colorful use of profanity a bit abrasive at times (Fuck them!  Just kidding.  LOL.  <—– see what I did there?)  But to have a family member actually defriend me over this…?  (Yes, this actually happened, and when I messaged her a neutral “weren’t we friends already?” message I was summarily ignored.)  That says something to me.  Like, she couldn’t hide my statuses?  She is apparently too self-righteous to be friends with me.  I was kicked off the island!

Which brings us now to the question: How could they not comment on this; have they been hiding my status updates???

~Sigh~  Facebook can be a good tool for discovering more about friends and casual acquaintances than you would normally get to if you had to wait until you saw them in person.  Some of these people you may never have the opportunity to hang out with anymore.  By reading their posts, comments, and profiles and looking at their photos, you get deeper insight into what they are really like…

And the unintended but undeniable result of that is that sometimes we discover that we really don’t like some of these people.

I’m not one of those people that says “If I don’t hang with you in real life, I don’t need you as a Facebook friend,” because I recognize FB for what it is- a useful social networking tool.  I like that I can keep in touch with old high school friends even though our separate lives and schedules may not allow us to hang out.  I have reconnected with old friends, and even some exes who (before you roll your eyes) have actually turned out to be good “friend”-friends.  I am friends with some of their wives as well.

I guess what I am saying is that a person needs to be careful not to place unrealistic expectations on their friends in response to some imaginary “Facebook etiquette.”  While there IS a certain protocol to some social networking  interactions, let’s not get ridiculous about it.

And if you don’t “like” this post AND compliment my cat pictures AND tell me my duck face is sexy, you’re not my friend anymore!

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18 responses to “Why Don’t You “Like” Me Anymore???

  1. People should ALWAYS be careful with what they post on social media websites. I try not to post every minute/hour, but I admit that when I’m in a bad mood, I tend to post more than usual — complaining, actually. Haha.

    I don’t care whether people like my post or not, or whether they comment or not. I posted it because I wanted to, it’s their choice whether they like it or not.

    I see FB as a way to keep in touch with my friends that are far away, or when we’re all just too busy. Also > Networking. And I know I have “friends” on my FB that I don’t know in real life. But it depends if I have this ‘click’ with them or not whether I delete them after a while. You see, so now and then I clean up my friendslist, and just delete who ever I think doesn’t belong there anymore, or who I won’t miss, or who won’t miss me. Haha.

        • I have posted pics of new dishes that I created and made, but generally not a half -eaten crabcake or something… But I have this weird aversion to dirty plates and half-eaten food. I don’t know how I made it as a waitress. LOL

        • Hahahaha. I usually post pictures of food which I haven’t touched yet. It doesn’t look that tasty when someone has already taken a bite out of a browny or something.

    • Somehow I missed the bottom half of this comment. I totally am on board with what you’re saying. I do like to keep in touch with far away ppl, and I will delete after a certain time if it feels that the person isn’t interested in my life, or conversely, me not being interested in their crap. LOL

  2. Ha! I am sooo with you. I wouldn’t notice if someone de-friended me for months, though. I might eventually think, hmm, why doesn’t so-and-so post any more? But I couldn’t be arsed to go find out why. I did upset my own father a few months ago, by commenting on Palahniuk’s ‘scar’ contest photos – FB had just changed and all my comments showed up as posts from me, complete with the icky photo. So now I’m more careful….I have more to say, but it’s my only sister’s birthday and she just said she was available for Skype!!! Bye :)

  3. It’s a good thing we’re adults now, so we can handle the bristling emotions a bit better. Could you imagine what it must be like for teens to grow up with Facebook in their lives? “Oh there’s pictures of the party I wasn’t invited to. There’s my rival posting flirtatious comments on my crush’s wall. Ugh, I forgot to hide that stats from my parents and now I’m grounded!”

    It could be SO much worse. :) I pity my poor 16-year-old niece…

  4. I really hope that wasn’t YOUR duck face in the link! Hahah. Ok right, I’m back, and here before your more recent post to make up for being a slacker.
    I do try to be cautious on FB (hey, come find me! I like you, really I do! But I’m lazy and I use an iPad which still has old style FB -yay- so it’s not easy to find people). But, after upsetting my dad, who actually upset me by being all passive-aggressive about seeing nasty photos show up in his feed, I do try to save it for the blog. Not so my hubby, who posts CONSTANTLY and a lot is anti-religious in nature. I agree with him, but I also have a lot of religious family and friends that I don’t want to alienate.
    Oh! The best one, though, was someone who was married to a friend of a friend, and we linked up when I was a Mafia Wars junkie (glad that’s over). She put up posts telling everyone to make sure they specifically kept her out of the loop when they posted the things she didn’t want to see. As in, “I don’t want to hear how much you like Obama and think Bush is a weenie, if you want to put up a link take the time and effort to post to all 400 other people in your list, checkbox by checkbox, just so I don’t have to make the effort of not reading it or ignoring it.” What a entitiled bitch. Actually she IS the reason I stopped MW: just so I could defriend her.

    • I constantly fight myself to find middle ground between saying what I feel and being true to myself, and trying not to insult/alienate family and friends with different views. It is surprisingly difficult at times.
      The only time I asked people to exclude me from posts was if they felt the urge to post aborted babies (yes, it happened) or tortured animals (yep, that too). I just can’t take it and you can’t UNSEE a picture like that. If they continue to do it, then they WOULD get deleted.

    • (How do I find you?) I didn’t see a FB profile anywhere on your profile and I don’t know your name. If you want, reply and then I’ll delete these two messages…

  5. Pingback: “You Have One Zillion Friends” | alienredqueen

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