Live and Help Live

(alternate title) “A Quick Word on Being a Self-righteous Prick Who Judges Others”

8koXXEt

Um, no.

10500292_711031395598989_1985358134760304607_n

Some people would argue these ^ are the jobs for “teenagers,” but these are the people that are NEVER happy– you’re lazy and mooching if you don’t HAVE a job. You need a “better” job if you bust your ass at a low-paying job but still need assistance. They’re pissed about minimum wage being raised because of how it might effect THEM.
To these people (and ESPECIALLY the BUSINESSES guilty of the following crappy practice–>), I would say we wouldn’t need to raise minimum wage if companies like McDonald’s would give their senior (longtime) workers (who have been there many years and DO have families to support) appropriate RAISES to reward them for their loyal and good work. Just saying. Because these are the people who need to make more than minimum wage, not the teenagers who just started jobs that they will likely quit in a couple of months when something better comes along.

Additionally, I wish people would stop being so shitty to one another.

The End.

T.H.I.N.K.

“Words! What power they hold. Once they have rooted in your psyche, it is difficult to escape them. Words can shape the future of a child and destroy the existence of an adult. Words are powerful. Be careful how you use them because once you have pronounced them, you cannot remove the scar they leave behind.” ― Vashti Quiroz-Vega

We have become a society that is so concerned with our “rights” to say and do things, we have stopped considering if we should say or do those things!

This is very important.  Call it the Golden Rule, or being “Christ-like” or whatever you want.

I like this passage because it always annoys me when people say “You are responsible for your own feelings, and that if you let people upset you, you have no one to blame but yourself.”  Well, that just allows everyone to act like jerks and not feel the need to take any responsibility for the results.  THAT is the kind of world we live in now, and how does everyone like it???

Wouldn’t it be a better place if we were all allowed our own opinions and beliefs as long as we hurt no one, but we didn’t feel the need to beat one another over the head with them?

THINK.001

“This is Life.”

I was talking to a friend today about some recent changes in her life.  She told me she still had some sad days but was overall doing well.  She said much with a few words; she said, “This is life.”

It reminded me of something I was contemplating on the day before…

We, as humans, are not meant to be “happy” always. Just as we are not meant to be “sad” always. We are meant to be content with our lives, and moments of happiness and sadness, like anything else, come and go.

But I think Denis Leary said it best:

“Happiness comes in small doses folks. It’s a cigarette butt, or a chocolate chip cookie or a five second orgasm… You come, you smoke the butt you eat the cookie you go to bed, get up in next and go to fucking work…  That is it. End of fucking list! ”

 

Personally, for me, Denis Leary in a dress is a happy moment.

Personally, for me, Denis Leary in a dress is a happy moment.

Yeah, me and Denis got this life thing nailed!

Introductions: Blessings Unleashed

Hello, faithful friends and readers…

Some of you may remember me writing about going to school to become a certified dog trainer and my desire to train service dogs.  Just wanted to take a moment to introduce an organization I am working with right now.  Blessings Unleashed Foundation is a non-profit organization that takes shelter dogs and trains them to be placed with autistic children and their families as service animals.  I have been working on creating a newsletter for the foundation.  There’s not too much up yet, but I hope to be able to add an event to our calendar on the newsletter shortly and there are some doggie facts on there too!

Please, if you have any interest in either dogs or learning about autism, please feel free to visit and share the newsletter.  Within it contains also links to the foundation’s own web page!

Blessings Unleashed, a non-profit organization

 

 

Good-bye to Another Friend

Got word today via Facebook (again! Damn you with your double edged sword of keeping me in touch with people/always being the “first” to break bad news.)  I suppose I should just be glad I found out at all, living as far away from most of my high school friends as I do.    We lost another person from our graduating class.  It feels like our class has lost quite a few people these past few years.  We’re only 32-34 years old.  We’ve lost friends to epilepsy, cancer, suicide, even murder.

My friend Scott passed this weekend.  He was one of my homeroom buddies back in high school, and unlike a lot of Facebook “acquaintances,” we actually did still comment and interact with one another on Facebook.  Oddly, I some ways I learned more about him from Facebook than our time back in high school– like, for instance, what a sensitive soul he actually was.  This is so weird because…and I know it sounds so obvious it’s stupid, but…  he was just here not too long ago.  Now he’s not.

It seems most of us (that is, the people in our class, our “mutual friends” on Facebook,) don’t know cause of death; it’s being kept quiet right now.  …Which for me tends to rule out accident, illness, etc.  And I guess it doesn’t really matter how he died.  He is just as gone.  And yet, knowing seems to be a piece in coming to terms with the loss…and in some cases, satisfying a sort of morbid curiosity many of us feel towards the death of someone we know who is not necessarily in our immediate circle of friends.  Along the same vein, I can’t help but be annoyed by the requisite number of busybodies and drama mongers (online), attempting to put themselves in the middle of everything, trying to make the loss somehow more about them.  (You disgust me, but this isn’t the time for me to call you out on it.)

Because of the internet and social networking, we are now highly in tuned with the everyday goings-on of people we might not get to otherwise interact with regularly.  We get our news fast (sometimes too fast, and in a less than sensitive manner.)  It makes me wonder, are all these losses just a normal part of “growing up,” aging?  Are the amount of deaths in our age group just the relatively normal “fall off” of people, and we are only so aware of it because of the internet?

It’s also weird to think about it…like I said, he was here, now he’s not.  Chances are, he didn’t know he wouldn’t be here today.  Did he know how many people would miss him?  Tag his name in Facebook statuses and say nice things about him…

 

And (quietly) *to myself*…

One day will I be just a tagged name on Facebook? 

 

In Memory Of Scott (1981-2014)

 

Related:

Rest In Peace, Jer and Ricky

Things Not to Say/Rest in Peace, Greg

Puppy…er, Kitty Pile

My best friend’s cat got pregnant before she could get her altered.

Er, her cat(s), I should say…

The big, mainly white Calico is the mama of the kittens.  She also happens to be the mama of the other Calico, who, in case you can’t tell, is majorly pregnant.  Tonight, while Mama was nursing her kittens, her pregnant daughter also seemed to want to be as close as possible.   At one time, it even looked like she tried to nurse too!   She also seemed to be very concerned whenever the kittens (her half siblings?) cried.  I can’t say I have a HUGE amount of experience with pregnant kitties, but I have seen my share of young kittens nursing.  Yet I have never seen anything like this.  The younger Calico is normally very shy of people, but tonight, she not only stuck close to her mother and the kittens (even allowing them to attempt to nurse from her) but she also allowed us to pet and handle her.

photo: Cynthia Gemmill

photo: Cynthia Gemmill

Goodbye, H.R. (nsfw)

The renowned Swiss artist H.R. Giger has died at the age of 74, as a result of injuries sustained in a fall. Giger, who passed away in a Zurich hospital, was most famous for the alien monster he created for the movie of the same name. (source)

Even if many people aren’t familiar with the vast majority of Giger’s work, almost everyone would recognize the frightening yet somehow vicious beauty of the Xenomorph creature from the Alien films.

alien

However the vast body of his work is explicitly erotic, what some might consider as bordering on pornographic.

Giger’s so-called biomechanoids represent a large share of his work. His representations of these creatures is a mixture of human and mechanical parts, with a strong focus on sexuality that can be disturbing for the viewer.

tumblr_m65jdopFcy1r4itfwo2_1280

hr_giger_csg048

 

hr_giger_001

While not all of his art is sexual and explicit (okay, most of it is…), all of it is darkly unique, thought-provoking, and emotionally stimulating.

giger251

 

meh.ro2789

Love it or leave it, the world has lost an incredible artist.  The king is dead.  Long live the Alien King.

Of Sleeping and Waking Thoughts

I had some very strange dreams last night.  Some were interesting, some were kind of funny, and at least one was pretty scary.

Some of the highlights include:

–being in a very strange stage production, where I got to dance with Kevin Bacon…except Kevin was sort of uppity, and had strict rules about being touched.  Somehow I doubt he’s really like that.  I see him as having more of a sense of humor, as perhaps evidenced by his Footloose entrance on the Jimmy Kimmel Show or his even earlier dance-capades on Will and Grace.

D41083FC6C75651E182521444F3B

–hiding in dark and semi-underground school with other “kids,” in a video game-like battle against zombies, where found objects (even aerosol cans of air freshener) can be used as weapons.

And finally… a sort of terrifying nightmare where I was being put under (anesthesia) to undergo open heart surgery.  I could feel myself succumbing to the effects of the anesthesia, trying to talk but having a hard time being heard, and then at the last moment, panicking at the prospect of having my chest cracked open and the pain I’d experience upon waking.  Wanting to tell them to stop but feeling like it was too late.

That last one has to mean something, right?

In case you are wondering, I’ve known a couple of people who have had open heart surgery.  My mom in particular has a rough time with the pain and healing.  Oddly enough, some of the older people I knew who had the same procedure who had an easier time healing, but I can only guess how traumatic it can really be.

But, then there are cool people like Robin Williams, who can always somehow seem to make the best of just about anything.

article-0-04EE76B8000005DC-262_468x312

 

I’m sure at least some of the dreams are stress related (the place that has had my wedding ring for repair for almost a month still hasn’t done anything with it, and my old bank is trying to screw me with undeserved overdraft fees–they tack on an additional $12 every three days I refuse to bring the account up to a zero balance by paying the fees they keep adding.) Maybe I need to try to be more like Robin Williams.  Nothing gets that guy down!

 

 

 

Is Confession Good For the Soul?

Before this goes any further, let me qualify that question.

–I’m not talking about religion or conversations in the booth with your priest.

–And I’m not only talking about your soul.

I’m talking about confession on a more interpersonal level.  Relationships.  Deceit.  Guilt.  Confession.  Truth.

Mostly romantic relationships, but it can really be any relationship.

Guilt has been a part of my life almost as long as I can remember.  Even before my OCD was diagnosed, and long after, part of my ritual to expel guilt was that I needed a confessor. My mom usually fulfilled this role, even though most often the guilt du jour had nothing to do with her.  Often my confessions were embarrassing and tedious, to both me and my chosen confessor, and were more often then not unnecessary, as my guilt was more a product of my OCD than anything I had actually done wrong.  Though my OCD is now better controlled, there are still times of high stress where I feel a formless guilt and a compulsion to “confess” something to the most important people in my life.

However, the majority of people experience guilt normally, in response to appropriate things, and in varying degrees.  What they do in response to that guilt is as individual a thing as the guilt itself.  Especially when the guilt involves a close romantic partner or spouse.  Relationships are complicated and successful relationships and lasting romantic connection take work.  When asked, most people would likely agree (at least out loud) that honesty is the best policy, although some of those people would likely also tell you there is such a thing as too much honesty.  I’m guessing there are many people, men and women, that would admit having told a “white lie” now and then, to spare their partner’s feelings.

 

Do you think I’ve gained weight?

Does my hair look thinner to you?

What do you think of my mother?

Sure, honey, dinner was good.

Yeah, I got off…

 

While I do agree with the use of tact and sensitivity, I am personally not a fan of the “white lie.”  I don’t lie to my husband, even about little things.  You may not believe me, and that’s okay, but I think I already demonstrated that I have a pretty overactive conscience with regards to some people.  That’s just me.  I don’t know if it’s the norm or not, or how many people do tell white lies to their spouse with little ill-effect on their conscience, and I am making no judgments.

What I am curious about are the big things?  Lies about our past…hiding money…cheating…

Any secrets or lies that would seriously damage a relationship, or at the very least, hurt you or your spouse emotionally if they ever came out.

There seem to be two main school of thought regarding secrets, lies, and whether or not to confess.  Some people feel that confessing, telling the truth, clearing the air, is the only right thing to do.  If you love someone, you don’t hide things from them or lie to them.  Period.

Then there is the school of thought that confession is actually a selfish act, done more to assuage the guilt of the “confessee” than out of any desire or need to right a wrong.  That there is no point in hurting the wronged party more by confessing, when nothing can actually be gained from truth coming out.  For example, you cheated on your spouse.  It was a mistake, a one time thing, you feel horrible, and you know it will never happen again.  What will confessing do but hurt your spouse, your relationship?

(We won’t go into the school of thought that is “deny, deny, deny,” even when confronted with evidence.  I think people that do that are operating with a questionable moral compass to begin with.  That’s all about self preservation, and guilt doesn’t much factor into it.)

Personally, I always advocate honesty, but if there was going to be criteria on “when to tell the truth,” I’d say the deciding factor should be the answer to one question.

Would the relationship change significantly, would feelings or actions of either party be different if the were the truth known?  

After all, how can a relationship be secure, be real, if both parties are not operating with all the facts ? Would your girlfriend leave you if she knew you cheated?  Would your husband forgive you if he knew you went off the pill even after he said he wanted no more children?

Anyway, I am curious to know what you guys think.  Consider this sort of an informal reader poll…

To tell or not to tell…

Talk to the Queen.

 

honesty