Those Pesky Insomnia Worms

In the past few weeks AlienRedQueen has been enjoying a surge in readership.  Between the support of my friends and family and the new connections I’ve made with my fellow bloggers, I guess my network is beginning to be a little more self-sustaining.  Now people searching terms on various search engines often get routed to my blog.

If you have your own blog or website, maybe you have access to a page that tracks your statistics.  Maybe you also have access to the search terms and queries people enter that ultimately result in them finding one or more of your articles.

When you tag your posts, you are essentially guessing at what terms people might search and applying them to your posts so that they can be found and get maximum exposure and readership.  Some search terms and tags are pretty obvious and/or self explanatory.

And some of the queries are not only unusual, but downright bizarre.  After noticing a number of highly interesting (and humorous) search terms, I decided they deserved a post all their own.  Below are some of the more interesting search terms and phrases I’ve come across in my stats.  Again, these are words or phrases people apparently typed into a  search engine that resulted in them eventually finding their way to one of my posts.

Some are hilarious for their errors:

1) poepol who put a lot of undwere [sic]

2) resident evil alcpolyst

Some are hilarious for their complete lack of shame; these people are looking for porn and they aren’t afraid to spell it out:

3) erotic love sex stories jareth the wizard

4) re5 jills [sic] vagina

5) jamie grumet tits (like really, guys, the breastfeeding mom?)

6) squarting pornstar (yes, I just learned a charming new new term that’s right up there with “queef” )

Some apparently like to mix the sex with the bizarre:

7) my milk boss porn [sic]

8) pissing men

9) face hugger on tits

10) dirty assholes (I’m assuming they mean that in the literal sense)

Some are declarative:

11) kenny wormald is a jerk 

12) re5 sheva ai is shit

And then there are the simply incomprehensible.  It makes you wonder what they mean, what they are thinking…or what language they’re speaking:

13) insomnia worms

14) marilyn manson cross lorraine? [sic]

15) popin & moino (what the hell?)

And finally, the very literal.  No question here what the person searching was feeling at the time:

16) aaarrrghh! i feel anxious

There are a number of people who probably don’t realize there search terms may be recorded when they use certain search engines.  Maybe they wouldn’t even care.  It’s not like I can see who searched what.   Some people have the capability or knowledge to block their search terms.  That’s unfortunate; likely I’m being denied some pretty juicy entertainment.  Either way, if I’m observant enough, I have the tools to more effectively tag my posts and gauge what draws readers to my blog.

And maybe the best part is knowing how disappointed the weirdos are gonna be when they search some bizarre, off-the-wall thing-

monster genitals

and end up on my blog, more than likely on an article that has absolutely nothing to do with their search.

Well, happy hunting, pervos!

 

*lulzshirts.com

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9 responses to “Those Pesky Insomnia Worms

  1. A couple of my favourites:

    2 sad searches for “i saw her again”.

    2 even sadder searches for “seeing someone and wishing you hadn’t”…

    Now I’m mega sad.

    Most of my views sadly come from people searching for the Snoop Dogg porn movie, because I reviewed it.

    Also the word, “Sexnun”, which I thought I’d invented but clearly is a pretty popular word.

    Some of yours are PRETTY creepy! Facehugger on tits?! Some weird fetishes out there!
    Also, what is a “squarting”? Do I want to know?

  2. “AARGH, I feel anxious!” HAHA! That one totally cracked me up.

    I have some funny ones here too (dead cats(?), man pretending being a cat, what does it mean when you kill a black cat). Sadly, not that funny as yours! Or else I would check them out on a daily base!

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