In Which I Unwittingly Try to Mutilate the Cat

So…the other day, and not for the first time, I was rubbing the cat and discovered a mysterious “bump” hidden in the fur. This time it was on his belly. the last couple of times I found suspicious lumps in his fur, they ended up being nothing more than a lose piece of skin and fur, or maybe a small scab from a healed abrasion.

To his credit, Methos lay calmly and let me dig through the fur on his belly to isolate what I now thought of as “the weird growth.” I think he just assumed he was enjoying a very localized belly rub. I isolated the growth, this dark little brown lump that looked not unlike a mole. I considered and then briefly dismissed the possibility that it was a nipple, as when I felt around I could not locate the other nipples.

So I did the only rational thing I could think of; I poked and squeezed at it to see what I it would do. It was kind of odd. At times it seemed to stick half in and half out of the skin, almost like a small tick (I frickin’ hate ticks, by the way.) Then I got the tweezers, determined to detach it from the cat. I tugged and tugged, but it was a slippery little sucker. I’d think I had a hold of it only to have it slip through my grasp. Whatever it was, Methos didn’t seem to be having any discomfort from my “ministrations,” and I eventually came up with a little scale of what looked the skin or scab from the top of the “lump.” But still the brown lump remained. So I called hubby over to look. I squeezed the skin around it again, and it sort of protruded out from the surrounding skin. The following is the general conversation that following, albeit, probably not verbatim:

HUBBY: I think that’s a nipple, hon.

ME: But I looked for his other nipples and couldn’t find them.

HUBBY: I think that’s a nipple.

ME: {pause} I think you’re right. {second pause} Ohmygod! I tried to mutilate the cat! {to cat} I’m so sorry, buddy!

{Then follows five minutes of shame and horror, probably for me and the cat.}

Lesson learned? Don’t try to detach things that are attached, unless you are positive of what they are, or at least what they are not.