“You Have One Zillion Friends”

Good friends are hard to find.  No matter what your Facebook friends list might say, we’re blessed with few people in our lives that fit all the criteria of a good friend.  My blogger friend, Crazy Train, raised a good point in a recent article.

…is your life so rich in friendship that you can afford the loss of a loved one or treasured friend over some small incident or word spoken in haste. If you can honestly say that your relationship with this person is too emotionally costly then possibly it is time to move on.

Good friends are hard to find…unless you’re Chuck Norris. [insert random Chuck Norris joke here]

I heartily agree.  In fact, it’s odd to me that the very fact that I am not more angry at a specific someone very close to me for something they did, or rather failed to do, has actually royally pissed off another specific someone in my life.  They don’t understand why I “forgive” the one person the slight that person B perceives.  There are several reasons for this, but the short version is that I choose my battles.  Some things are just not worth being angry over when you never know if the people in your life will be there from one day to the next…

Okay, enough of the sappy shit.   The point of all this is that I happened to mention to my blogger friend my feelings on a certain type of friend.

I call them my Friends In Small Doses.

We all have one or more of these friends.  When I describe them, you will know exactly who in your life this may refer to.

-They’re people who are at heart basically good, but they tend to be self-involved.

-They usually like to be the center of attention, and often find ways to draw the attention away from you and back to them.

-They are often sarcastic or unintentionally condescending (I’ve been told I can be condescending at times-  unintentionally, I assure you. 😀 ) and have been known to utter an “I told you so” on occasion.

-They tend not to take criticism, even constructive criticism, well.

-They often show up when they need a shoulder to cry on or someone to bitch to, but are unavailable when you may need a ride somewhere or a favor…yet they have redeeming moments when they see you through a traumatic event, or do something completely generous, or you go out with them and have a complete blast, and you remember why you love them.

In my experience, these are people you do want to stay in touch with, but after being around them for a bit, you find that you need to take a step back every once in a while.  Sometime for a few days, sometime for a few months.

Friends come in all shapes and sizes, especially in this age of social media (which is raging out of control- but that’s another post entirely.)  Just be aware of who you can trust, who you can’t.  Who you want to keep in your life and who is toxic.  And don’t be afraid to let the ones you love know it.

 

 

related: Why Don’t You Like Me Anymore?”  AlienRedQueen

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19 responses to ““You Have One Zillion Friends”

  1. This is a really cool post. I dig the introspection…nothing new.

    Here’s my sitchy…

    I’m going through what I call a “social-cleansing” period. All of the friends that I have now are the people that I grew up and hung out with throughout my life. I’ve known all of them for a long time. It’s gotten to the point where I really don’t feel all that connected to most of them anymore, mainly because I’ve started to pick up on things that really bother me. I’m not sure if I’m imagining it, or it’s really happening.

    A lot of it has to do with the idea of “true”. You know, who are your “true” friends. What qualities does a true friend possess? For me, I always try to be that. Consequently, I feel like I’ve become a doormat — either because of how I define “true”, or because the people around me really aren’t all that great — or their preoccupied with their lives. All are likely. The problem is always trying to figure out what’s actually happening…

    It’s a headache and a heartache. Analyze that, Ms.-Dr. Phil. I’m curious to get your thoughts because they’re always good…

    • I’m really glad you enjoyed the post. What I think (my humble, non-professional opinion,) I’ve felt that way for a lot of my life. I can remember being in fourth grade and my “Best Friend” (cuz in elementary school it was practically a title) didn’t act like I thought a “Best Friend” should act. Maybe people like you and I are just very sensitive, and it’s not a bad thing necessarily but it can leave you feeling kind of alone I guess, because some people are givers and some aren’t. You are probably just “outgrowing” your old friends. When lives change and priorities change, if our friendships don’t adapt and our friends don’t understand our priorities, things can get to feeling a little one-sided. :/

  2. I actually do not have people like that in my life! However I’ve moved a LOT over the years, sometimes 1,000 miles and sometimes 3,000! So no old friends up close and personal, at all. And very few friends in Ireland. Hey! Maybe I’m the dickhead friend! That would explain a lot 😧

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