“Dogs are not kids.”

Becoming a mom has definitely changed me.  I’ve never been a kid person.   But my kid is fucking awesome!  

And now I am noticing something I hadn’t really noticed until I started posting on social media and reading comments on articles online; when the topic of kids comes up, it’s amazing how many people are hateful about children!

This morning, I saw this article on things parents shouldn’t say to non-parents.  If you don’t wanna read the whole thing, I’ll just outline the points.

1) “Dogs are not Kids”- based on the premise that the people that always compare their pets to our kids actually do know this.

2) “You think you’re [insert anything here]? Try having kids!”  Okay, I get what they’re saying about playing down others’ feelings, but if I’m exhausted from being up with my sick child, I don’t wanna hear about your post bar-hopping hangover woes.

3. “Don’t worry, when you have kids you’ll…”  Firstly, the author is insulted that parents assume everyone wants kids.  I definitely agree that’s not the case, and it does sound a bit condescending…

4. “Is the party kid-friendly?”  I don’t see what the big deal is with this one.  The author posits that unless you and your friend have a tacit understanding that your kids are always welcomed, you should assume they’re not.  I personally think it should be the other way around.  You call yourself my friend?  Then you’ll know chances are that I prefer to do things with my husband and child rather than without.  Common sense.  At any rate, why should even asking this question be discouraged?  By being insulted by the mere question, you’re just opening the door for miscommunication.

5. “My life didn’t have meaning before I had kids!”  The author seems to assume this statement of personal feeling implies something about their life without children.  To which I say, if that’s how you feel, the problem is with you, not me!  I have not ever personally uttered this phrase because I don’t feel my life was meaningless before, just that it has more meaning now.  But if I was to say it to a non-parent, it would not be to infer that I think their life is consequently meaningless, it would just be a statement of how I felt.

A couple of weeks ago I ran across a question on Yahoo! Answers asking people what they thought of a restaurant that banned kids under 18 (not a bar, a restaurant.)  Almost without exception, the “answerers” were either under eighteens who felt this was insulting and discriminatory, and responses like “This is a great idea!,” full of inferences that if a person had an upset toddler they couldn’t possibly  be a good parent.  Let me tell you guys a secret…

I used to feel this way. 

But– and you may not want to hear it– this IS one thing you can not know until you have your own kid… no matter what you think you’d do, or how you “plan” to be with your kids (should you wish to have them,) it is subject to change; you never really know what you’ll feel comfortable doing until you have to do it.  I always thought if my kid acted up, I’d just bust her ass the way my mom did my sis and I when we were kids.  We aren’t “emotionally scarred” (not much anyway.lol.)  But now that I have a daughter, I find myself loath to lay a hand on her in anger.  It’s just not how I want our relationship to be.  I’m not the same disdainful towards kids person I was before.  

And the fact is that some people seem to forget that children are people too.  They have feelings and thoughts and needs, and often not the maturity to frame them properly.  And yet, by the way some adults behave, that sometimes never changes.  Some people forget that they were kids once too.

At any rate, where’s the list of things that childless people shouldn’t say to parents, like telling us how to raise/discipline our kids, and or (#1) comparing their dog to our kids?  My cats and dogs have always been like family to me, my furry kids.  But…they do not require the same time, attention, or responsibility as a real child.  Deal with it.

kids-expresso-puppy-300x217

Ha! Joke’s on you! My kid already knows how to swear!

  • Parents (meddlesomeness.wordpress.com)
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19 responses to ““Dogs are not kids.”

  1. I love children and animals but I don’t have any kids of my own but I do object to having to watch a daily video of my boss’s child of what he did the day before – sure he’s cute but every day!

  2. I don’t advise parents or non-parents. I do enjoy observing new parents though. I sit there and think of all the fun they’re in for; the “meaning” in their lives, and just how much and what kind of meaning they will find. 🙂

  3. MMMmmmmm… Yes! Love those kiddies! They’re so tender… Let the children come to me… (If the law is watching: THIS IS NOT WHAT YOU THINK IT IS, OK! I just eat them, thats all! I don’t start licking them untill they are at least 18 years old!)

  4. I would TOTALLY go to a restaurant that didn’t allow kids. And a movie theatre with no cell phones (and teens in groups). And it is because I know kids are people, but prone to acting like… Kids. Loud, easily upset, messy, and demanding my attention (I’m a kid magnet; I don’t know why – maybe because I treat them like adults) more often than not. There are SOOO many places to go out to eat in the USA, why not have a kid-ban? If I don’t have any, I don’t want to have to deal with any – because of the exhaustive nature of them. I really don’t want to go out to eat and have to pay attention to someone else’s kid. Of course you think yours is dammed awesome – but so does every last parent on the earth! That’s no fun when you want to get away from their little Snowflayke.

    As to the rest, I believe we are in agreement. Except for No. 2 – but I don’t think you’re the type to say that sort of thing to someone, no matter how irritating they are (it’s called Mommyjacking over on STFUParents).

    • I don’t have a problem with the restaurant idea, per se, so much as the attitudes in the comment section. That said, I know some adults that could use a lesson in manners as far as self-phone use and what is and is not appropriate at a restaurant.

      ” If I don’t have any, I don’t want to have to deal with any ” This is your one statement I’m not 100% agreeing with… I don’t have a dog, but I couldn’t ban dogs from the park(not that I’d want to). To assume just because we don’t do something at home, others should not do it in our presence is kinda …meh. Kids have as much right t be some place as adults do. I mean, I get your basic idea, and even parents get tired of dealing with kids, lol, but do you see my point?

      • Oh yeah, totally understand. But I can’t go anywhere it seems! There was a 5/6 year old running around the warehouse today – what!?!? Just because I don’t want to have to deal with them doesn’t mean I get that option. I know someone who is afraid of dogs and doesn’t go places dogs run loose – or crosses the street to avoid them. I sort of do the same thing – I really do cross the street to avoid a group of kids. I don’t mean at all that kids should be excluded – but it would be nice to have adult only places other than the bar (and that’s not even a given).

        I didn’t read the comments re: the restaurant, I don’t have the brain cells to waste on that sort of ignorance 🙂

        • LOL… I don’t think I linked that page anyway… What’s really funny is there ae some places you can’t get into WITHOUT a kid. Places like CHuck E CHeese I understand, but apparently there was recently this middle aged dude who collects Legos and he was denied entrance to Legoland because he didn’t have a kid with him. lol

  5. I like kids, but I’ll never be a parent, I don’t wanna take on that big a responsibility.
    I have a niece and she loves, she doesn’t see me often but she associates planes and airports with me, because whenever we say good bye it’s at an airport.
    Anyway, I took care of her for a week, she learned so many things like “I’m shitting myself” instead of saying “diapers”, “I’m peeing like a little puppy” instead of a simple “pee”, she learned how to eat without a spoon, direct from the plate.
    I basically turned her into a wild thing, my mom was really mad, my brother had to fake being mad but would laugh whenever she would pull a new “trick”.
    I also taught her how to bark, my sister in law wasn’t the happiest woman on earth but she’s a good sport.
    Kids are great, but not everybody should have them.

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