Finished Four Horses…

A while back I posted some progress pictures of a piece of art, four Horses of the Apocalypse, I was working on for someone.  I realized today that I never posted the final product.  I was working off of a photo my mom found on the internet, but the I kind of gave myself artistic license with the colors.  XD

reproduction © alienredqueen

reproduction © alienredqueen

It turned out okay, but I am pretty critical about my artwork and I can almost always find something I could have done better.  For instance, the colors on this one aren’t blended nearly as well as  “Rosie.”   And these are just photos of a drawing (I don’t have any of that high tech scanner stuff 😉 ) but I guess as long as my mom is happy with it (and I don’t have to look at it all the time), it’s all good.

Proof of a Negative

Was out walking the dog this evening, having a perfectly respectable time meeting all the neighborhood dogs, when I was once again waylayed by the “God Girls.”   That’s what we call the Mormon missionaries that live in the apartment across the parking lot.  A new “batch” seems to rotate in and out of the apartment every six months or so.  I have been fairly successful in fending them of by simply telling them I am an atheist (which is completely true.)  The word “atheist” seems to be to them like garlic to a vampire.

But tonight, despite pulling out the atheist card, I ended up standing there for about half an hour, trying to talk to them like people instead of automatons, getting eaten up by mosquitoes while my dog alternately hopped around and whined, and gave up and sat down.   During the course of our chat, I told them my best friend was Christian and we have many good theoretical discussions.  One of the girls told me, My best friend is like you…  Like she couldn’t even say the word “atheist”, or maybe couldn’t bear to admit her best friend was…atheist.

Anyway, I almost made it away with minimal small talk when the weirder one got me with a question.  Sometimes I just am too damn friendly and like to talk too damn much, and she found my weakness and suckered me in…

She asked me, If you did believe and you could ask Jesus one thing, what would it be?   I actually had a hard time coming up with something, partly because I didn’t want them to just pick the answer to whatever I might ask out of their book. (At one point, one actually tried to read me a passage, and I said, trying not to be testy, “I can read it for myself, I just don’t believe it.”)   I think when I finally did manage to articulate it, my answer almost stumped them.   I told them about my cousin, who had been shot in the head and was brain dead until my uncle finally told the doctors to pull the plug.  I told them I’d want to know, if his soul was separate from his body, did him being brain dead mean his soul was in Heaven or that was it trapped in his body until life support was removed?  I told them I believed the soul resided in the brain, where our personality is.  In fact, maybe I did stump them because they told me they “know” God has an answer, but they never got around to telling me exactly what it was.

We spoke of many things while they tried to convince me that the happiness, the good feelings in my life, were God speaking to me.  I asked why God was always credited with the good while not responsible for the bad.

I tried to explain how I had been raised Catholic but simply couldn’t internalize it

But nothing I said really seemed to get through.  In the end they just kept going back to “testifying that they knew [this] to be true” because they could “feel” it.  It was weird, like they only had so many lines on the script before they’d recycle and start over. I’m not trying to be mean.  It’s not just because they are religious either.  I know plenty of people of faith.  But talking to these girls, it genuinely makes me a bit uncomfortable.  Part of it is because I don’t really want to give them the time and attention to “convert” me.  But it’s also because talking to them almost feels like I am talking to pod people…or Stepford wives.  I try to connect with them on a “human” level and it’s like they’re vacant behind the rhetoric. There have to be normal girls in there somewhere, right? Girls that watch TV and joke and do things besides try to peddle their God?  But when I try to draw them out, by asking their first names, (because they go by “sister- whatever- their- last- names are,”) they actually seem hesitant to tell me.  I’m not calling them sister anything.

Anyway, they are probably pretty proud of themselves because I took one of their books.  But I usually only read stuff like that so I can know what I am talking about when I wanna argue with someone.   They asked if they could come by and talk some more sometime.  I told them they were welcome to come and watch a movie with me. 🙂  Somehow I doubt they’d like my taste in films though.


I Have a Dog!!!

Malachi is our newest addition to the family AND my newest pupil.  After passing his CGC test he will be trained to be a psychiatric service dog.

He came to us after his owner was evicted and could not care for him.  He knew we had a fondness for Malachi and offered him to us.  He came to that owner as a stray.  He is anywhere from 3-8 years old.   He is housebroken and has a very mild manner, which makes hims perfect for service work.
Yes, I am currently living two dreams right now.  I finally have the dog I have been wanting for years now, and I get to work on training him for something beyond basic obedience.  I’m feeling pretty grateful right now.

Meet Malachi

Meet Malachi


Gemmy, You’re My Bro!

Scrubs and Psych two of my favorite shows right now.

Both shows feature extremely close friendships between two male protagonists, often dabbling in behavior that seems to defy acceptable dude-code(1)(2) .  While the relationship between J.D. and Turk is certainly entertaining, though, it’s the complimentary relationship between Shawn and Gus that really amuses me.

Shawn is clever and funny, but often short-sighted (oh the irony) and narcissistic.  Gus is the responsible one, and can be stuffy at times, except for any time he sees a good-looking woman, at which point he becomes some goofball rico suave.   But he’s still my favorite. As my hubby says, Gus is one dapper motherfucker, and for some reason, I laugh every time he says “You know that’s right.”  Plus, while extremely impressive,and even enviable, Shawn’s skills of observation would often be useless without Gus’s ability to give them context with his store of practical and book knowledge.  They are peas in a pod.  Bros.

At any rate you may imagine my amusement (and secret pride) when my husband teasingly compared these bromances to my and my best friend’s behavior when we are together.  My best friend and I have “been together” since we were in fourth grade (that’s 23 years, give or take,) we’ve been through a lot, we went to school together, we got high together (we subsequently got in trouble together.)  We’ve had ups and downs, been separated by people and miles, and there is nothing we wouldn’t do for one another.

So without further ado, why my and I bestie have a chick bromance :

We tell each other the harsh truth and don’t take it personally.


 We can disagree and even “argue…” and then we’re over it.  No drama, no grudges.


 We’re both married but not much has changed…

BroM257cffdce208890We’re at home in one another’s homes…


And we probably know one another better than our own spouses.


We’re not afraid to be stupid together.

images (3)

 We respect and even compliment one another’s differences.


 We’ve always got each other’s back.


And we know we’ll be friends until we’re old and gray.



Let’s Have a Gay Parade (and get off my float!)

I am actually having a really hard time with this. It seems cut and dry to me. You can believe what you want, but let others be free to live their lives.
Yet I see some of my “friends” on social media railing against the supreme court decision to legalize gay marriage on the federal level, in all states. People who I know to be basically good-hearted, decent, nice people, are spewing intolerance, claiming to stand for what’s “right.” I can handle them not agreeing with the ruling, but to actually support and/or laud others’ efforts to undermine it and keep gay people from getting married goes too far.  
Who are you to decide what’s right? Don’t tell me “God decided” because we don’t all follow your God, and marriage was around before your bible anyhow. And if you are going by your bible, are you going to ask the courts to stop granting divorces too? Because that’s also a sin according to leviticus…that and about 75 other things these same people probably routinely do, like eating pork! Quick, defend God, ask the supermarkets to stop selling pork!!
But I am not here to change anyone’s mind.  I actually have a question.  Basically, I am left with the question to unfriend or not to unfriend? As I said, some of these people are otherwise some of the nicest people…but the fact that they support taking away other’s rights really does not sit well with me…
Opinions? How have some of my like-minded friends handled this dilemma?


It was recently brought to my attention that perhaps I am guilty of concerning myself too much with what happens to others…things that don’t directly affect me, I guess.  Social issues mainly.   Let me assure you, this criticism is actually something I am mulling over.  I am already fully aware I can seem angry sometimes from some of my posts.  And I AM angry.  I think sometimes I was a lot happier before I spent so much time online and became hyper-aware of how much hate there still is in this supposedly great country.  It makes me frustrated I can’t do more to change it, which is one of the reasons I write.  But I don’t think the things I am usually upset over are stupid.  Most are social issues that are farther reaching than just the impact they have on me personally.  If nothing else, this is the world my child, my daughter, must grow up in and that scares me sometimes.  The hate scares me.  The flagrant disregard for feelings and in many cases, life.  And by writing, I not only get to get some of the poison out of my system, I think deep down somewhere I can educate just ONE person, change just ONE mind.  Sometimes I write about “big” things (religion, gay rights, women’s rights, etc.)  Some times I impart info that may seem insignificant in the grand scheme of things.  It may be something as small as me trying to convince someone not to squish a spider or kill snake out of reactionary fear or revulsion.  I’m trying to effect a positive change, even a small one.  I care about these things.  And yet I DO have to pick and choose what to care too much about or else I’d go nuts (more nuts.)  Choose my battles, so to speak.

This big ass guy was sunbathing in my kid's old kiddie pool today.  He was gross as hell, but I fished him out with a stick anyway so he wouldn't drown...

This big ass guy was sunbathing in my kid’s old kiddie pool today. He was gross as hell, but I fished him out with a stick anyway so he wouldn’t drown…

Also, as much as I bitch, which I will admit is quite a bit, I do also try to put positive things out there too.  Art, for one. Fiction and poetry.  I love animals and I like to pass things on regarding animals, especially goofy cat and dog memes, because they make me smile and I want to make others smile.  I love to laugh and I love to make people laugh.

So I apologize if I seem to complain a lot.  I have always found angst and anger lubricate my writing skills a lot better than fluffy bunnies and summer breezes or whatever.  But that does not mean that is all I am.  But if it bothers you too much, you can always stop reading.  I may be sorry to see you go.  But then I’m going to go watch Scrubs and pet my cat.

Shiro makes me smile...

Shiro makes me smile…

“Relentlessly” Stupid

So some “Christian” person sent his widow neighbor a letter after she and her kids decorated the yard with rainbow solar lamps.

The letter went like this:


Disgusting that people would call themselves Christian after engaging in hateful behavior like that letter. Religious people that think being gay, or being trans (like Caitlyn Jenner,) is “an abomination under God” make me laugh. No, you know what is an abomination? Priests that try to fuck little kids while the church covers it up. Just saying, maybe you should complain about stuff like that and leave these people alone.

There’s actually a Go Fund Me  campaign now to help this lady paint her whole house in rainbows to piss this bitching neighbor off.  (It’s great.)  See, normally, I’d say if someone spends THAT much time worried about what someone else is doing with THEIR OWN yard, that complaining person needs to get a life.  The same would go for someone retaliating in this manner (painting a house just to piss off a neighbor)…except this “Christian” dude opened the door on this and now this plucky widow is gonna close it on his stupid face! Good for her and her kids, and shame on him for trying to take away a widow and her children’s joy because “gay” rainbows offend his delicate sensibilities.

“I’m Having an Emotion”

Feeling rather frustrated today.  It’s really pretty outside, and nothing is awful, per se, so I feel a little weird complaining.

But I’m gonna, because, well, if you can’t complain about shit you can’t change, what can you do? (Hardy Har)

Since tapering off the steroid, my hives are back, along with the acid reflux my Singulair is giving me, magnified.  Today, the acid is creeping into my throat and making my neck and tongue tingle and hurt as well.   I had a pulmonary function test this week, and was surprised to discover that aside from my “asthmatic episodes,” I actually have a slightly better than normal lung capacity.  So…yay me, I guess.  But I feel like shit today.

Then there’s the training job I was passed over for…after MUCH work and, apparently, much miscommunication…of the sort where apparently the business development manager from NJ, who I have been collaborating with all along, thought something I was supposed to do a certain way, and I neglected to pull the details of that “something”  out if thin air with my telepathic powers of omniscience.  Mind you, this is the second time he has been disappointed in me already, for failing to know I should do something in a way he never told me to do it.  Already, I am so disappointing and he has never met me.

So after telling me, via e-mail, that he gave the local position to someone who could offer more classes, he also gently chided me for failing to kiss ass  read his mind again take the initiative…yes, that’s it, to go in and meet the new local manager before I even secured the job in question.  And then… wait for it…he offered me the possibility of a position in a store farther away.

Now, set my own personal disappointment aside, I have just also officially learned that DH was passed over for promotion at his job…AGAIN… for some one LESS qualified…AGAIN. Because he doesn’t kiss the right ass or he isn’t related to the right people.  Yes, this is actually how it works at his job and no one really does anything about it, for fear of losing their job if they speak up.  And all this favoritism never seems to bite management in the ass either, because there is always someone who has to clean up the mess (my husband, for instance) that  the “teacher’s pets” have made.

Sorry.  I know I am grumbly, but I am feeling very jaded today.  In fact, I think I will delve into my growing folder of JPEGs and GIFs saved specifically for hard to express emotions to illustrate how I am feeling.

First:  we’ll call this one shock/numb incredulity.

What? What?! Seriously?

What? What?! Seriously?

Next comes the visceral gut response.  Seething fury and frustration.

Usually accompanied by flagrant use of profanity and/or hard liquor.

Usually accompanied by flagrant use of profanity and/or hard liquor.

And finally, and this is the longest phase, most likely continuing even after “acceptance…”  And that is abject disgust:

No one does

No one does “disgust” better than Prince.

images (3)

So, if I accomplished nothing else by complaining on the bloggie today, at least I will have given you the gift of GIF.  (Baddum bum!)

Ah, me…

Hi, guys! Sorry I haven’t posted much lately.  Thought I’d stop by and just sorta explain myself to any of my regular readers (bless you guys!) I haven’t been feeling really well lately.  What started as just really bad allergies (super-reactive skin, eyes so dry and itchy I couldn’t wear my contacts, and mild asthmatic episodes) blossomed into hives and swollen ankles, foot pain, and using my inhaler multiple times a day.  I was already taking everything under the sun to control the allergy symptoms- multiple OTC antihistamines, eye drops, NSAIDs .  I finally went to the ER, mostly out of concern that maybe there was a vascular component (I had my reasons.)  They checked my blood and did a chest x-ray, gave me a lot of steroids, a breathing treatment, and a RX antihistamine, and sent me on my way. That week, I had an unrelated doctor appointment, and my blood pressure was high.  Like, really high.  170/120.  It had been high at the ER too, but I don’t know what exactly, just that it set their monitor off.  *blush*.  Some of it may have had to do with the meds I was on.  Apparently, several of them have the side effects of elevated BP, including steroids.  But the situation still needed to be addressed.  I went to my family doc at the end of the week about the breathing issues, (which was the only one of the symptoms I had in the ER that still lingered,) and my BP was bad again, so bad ,my doctor made me take a pill in the office and lay down for a bit.  She put me on three new meds, two for BP and one for what she termed RAD (Reactive Airway Disease) (1, 2.)  Saturday was rough.  I felt crappy.  I chalked it up to getting used to the blood pressure meds.  I also had what I think is acid reflux, and I am wondering which of my meds is the likely culprit.  Sunday, my headache and general shittiness was feeling better but my throat felt like I had swallowed a handful of razor blades…around a lump in my throat. Anyway, I have a call into the doctor to see which med needs adjusting to eliminate the acid reflux, and I no longer have that headachy, drag-ass feeling I had on Saturday.  I feel better knowing my BP is getting under control.  My birthday is this weekend, and I’m only turning 34…so why am I such a hot mess?  All this “sick” and “gross” is interrupting my campaign to be the best (healthiest) me I can be, as I don’t feel much like exercising and am sort of afraid to let my BP go too high until it’s more controlled. I’ve been a bit emotional due to stress and feeling so bad, but I hate how whiny I sound when I talk about all of this…like one of those weird, middle-aged women you sometimes come across in a Walmart or someplace, who, apropos of nothing, regales you with all of their many health issues, all because you had the bad luck to look in their direction or offer a friendly greeting while you both stood in line for your prescriptions. images (2) But…   But.   I keep looking forward.  I will get this situation under control.  I will feel better, and I will get into the best shape of my life.  All this summer!  But for now, I will give myself a little break.

Riot this

Most of you are aware of the riots going on in Baltimore right now. Supposedly it is because of that poor fellow who died in police custody.  That shouldn’t have gone down the way it did. But what is going on now- this is not about that man who died in custody. It shouldn’t have happened… But this is nothing more than cruddy people taking advantage of a situation to try to get away with shit behavior and get free shit. They figure if everyone is doing it, they have safety in numbers.  Really, how are your free Slim Jims and stolen pharmacy drugs going to get “justice for Freddie Gray?”  The basis of this riot in supposedly seated in race inequality, the media and the deliberately ignorant happily perpetuating the hate by shamelessly race baiting with inflammatory headlines and ignorant memes.  I’m not saying race inequality does not exist, but that’s not what all this chaos is about.

Not that long ago, there was a big riot in KY (mostly white people, guys), after of all things, a fucking (sports) game! Obviously, in regards to the Baltimore riot and the death of Mr. Gray, race is being thrown around (again) a lot by all sides.  But to me, the Kentucky riot is just further support for the fact that when it comes to behavior like this, race is not the issue.  Watch some of the videos circulating.  There were  peaceful protesters initially, but what you see in common in both the KY and MD incidents has nothing to do with race.  It’s nothing but a mob of opportunistic scavengers.

And to those people I say:



You either get it or you don’t.  That’s it.  I’m out.