Things Said In Homes with Children (Installment #”I forget…”)

Every day is something new.  Some days, when it rains, it pours.  The other night, comedy gold was overflowing from my five year old’s crazy little brain and spilling out her mouth.  We are, in part, to blame.  There is way too much anime and crime show watching in this house.  That probably has some to do with some of the stuff that she pops off with.  (I know, we suck at parenting.)  But some of this stuff, it’s just genuine observations that come out sounding hilarious…

Like this one…

“I love puppets…  You know, cat puppets?  You stick your hand in their butt.”

Or this one.

Your pee is very golden yellow.

Some are a bit disturbing, (and completely our fault, as I mentioned.)

To the TV…

Tear his head off, Meliodas!!

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Some are kind of creepy, in the way that only a child’s complete honesty can be.  To her Daddy…

I love playing with you.  You’re like a doll…that moves and talks.

Like most kids, sometimes she sings or talks to herself while she plays.  Sometimes in the third person.

[J*] loves men.  Like you… You’re my little puppy-man.

And her jokes are both wildly silly and oddly appealing.  I say to our pain-in-the-ass Bengal cat, “Bizzy, what are we going to do with you?”

And J pipes up, laughing…

Like throw her in the trash or give her to someone else?

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Behold the Biz, in all her glory…

At any rate, if you have or have had small children in your house, you know practically at all time something cute, funny, or crazy is coming out of their mouths.  What are some funny things you’ve heard kids say?

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People I Would Have an Affair With (Fall 2012)

Alright, in the spirit of “you-can’t-have-too-much-of-a-good thing” and “there’s-no-such-thing-as-bad-sex,” I’m gonna take a proverbial page from my friend Heather’s blog and give you guys my version of the “People I’d Have an Affair With” list.  I highly doubt it will be as funny as Heather’s because, well, I would never have sex with a guy that had a mullet, for one.  And also because at least some of the people on my list actually are good-looking and/or talented, not “unlikely” crushes… but, here goes.  And don’t bother trying to blackmail me with this list at a later date, because my husband is already well aware of whose love-child I’d have and who I’d give up my alimony for. Continue reading