ARQ’s Top 10 Reasons Quitting Smoking Sucks

So…I’m contemplating taking the leap again. Yes, that’s right, I’m going to…

ugh…quit smoking.

Curiously, my decision actually came the day before yesterday, before I found out my friend and neighbor went to the hospital for a triple bypass.  And I thought, to help me stay on course this time, I’d make a list of the top ten reason to quit smoking.  But that is just so ’90’s.  And it would probably be boring for you guys too.  AND…I’m probably gonna be a bit cranky for a while and need something besides cat memes to make me laugh.  So I’m gonna make a list of all the reasons why quitting smoking is gonna suck.

10.  I won’t have an excuse to stand outside and freeze my ass off with my coffee in the morning.

9.  I’ll be missing the perfect “dessert” to go with any greasy, fatty take-out I might order.

8.  I won’t have an excuse to put a crying, tamtrumy toddler in her playpen and leave for five minutes.

7.  I won’t be able to use chain-smoking to lubricate the gears of my brain while I attempt to write my best-seller.

6.  I won’t have something to keep my hands occupied and my nerves calm while I talk on the phone to my mother.

5.  What am I going to do with all this extra mucus in my head, if I no longer need it to clean out my sinuses?

4.  I won’t have that extra punch in the morning that gets my bowels moving regularly.  (You’re welcome.)

3.  I won’t have that extra nicotine boost to help keep the weight off, and will likely have to replace all my cigarette breaks with “Reese’s Cups Breaks.”

2.  Somehow, a stick of gum after sex just doesn’t have the same appeal.

And, the number one reason quitting smoking sucks…

1. Because Fuck You.  That’s why.

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funny-pictures-because-fuck-you-thats-why

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Methos-neko?

Most of you are probably familiar with “basket cat,” AKA the most relaxed cat in the world, or zen cat…   Shironeko (neko means cat(s) in Japanese)is known for not only being an extremely tolerant cat, allowing his owners to stack almost anything on his head and feet and take pix, but also have a goofy, happy,and completely relaxed look while doing it. I love Shiro.  Seeing his sweet “smile” never fails to lift my spirits.

Shironeko

Shironeko

Today, Hubby and J* were playing with Methos…and the Duplos.  You see where I’m going with this?  Well, after taking the first pic or two, this gave me a brilliant idea.

Methos is tolerant…but he sure doesn’t look zen yet.

Methos and Duplos

Methos and Duplos

Methos and the Pelican

Methos and the Pelican

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Methos and the alphabet blocks

Methos and the alphabet blocks

"Hello Methos"

“Hello Methos”

Methos and the plastic tub turtle

Methos and the plastic tub turtle

So, yeah… I guess he’s a work in progress.  One day he’ll let us take the pix without that I’m going to kill you in your sleep look on his face.

Happy Friday!

*all pix of Methos belong to alienredqueen; please do not use without permission/credit