So, my regular readers know I’m not especially religious…and that I’m actually especially suspicious and cynical about organized religion… And as I was laying in bed last night/this morning, busy with the business of not sleeping, I got to thinking about something that occupies my mind too often lately;
How much I hate most people on the internet.
How rude and obnoxious the anonymity of online forums and social sites allow some people to be.
And how much I really need to start extricating myself from the internet’s devious grasp. I spend too much time arguing with asshats I don’t even know…because, even though I know it’s not my job to school people, there are some displays of douchebaggery I have a hard time just passing by.
So I thought, I need to handle this stuff better. I thought…
WWJD?
But I don’t believe in Jesus. Besides, my real question would be “Would Jesus Slap the Shit Out of Someone For This?” But WJStSOoSFT is just not as pithy as WWJD…so, who could I emulate in these types of situations that would better fit my ideology AND this sweet acronym???
Here’s a few of the solutions I came up with, inspired by some of the best “J’s” ever…
Q: Someone is being dick on the internet and I can’t punch them in the face… What do I do???
A:
Q: What would Johnny do?
A: Get High and Eat Cake
A:
Q: What Would Jack Do?
A: “The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem”
or…
“I wash my hands of this weirdness.”
A:
Q: What Would Johnny (Knoxville) Do?
A: Break something, or hit someone in the balls… and film it.
And if all else fails:
Q: What would John (Torrance) Do?
A: Start talking to the voices and smashing shit up…
This last one also begs the question, What Would Jack (Nicholson) Do? The answer is probably the same.
Happy Tuesday!
alienredqueen 