WWJD. Or something like that.

So, my regular readers know I’m not especially religious…and that I’m actually especially suspicious and cynical about organized religion…  And as I was laying in bed last night/this morning, busy with the business of not sleeping, I got to thinking about something that occupies my mind too often lately;

How much I hate most people on the internet.  

How rude and obnoxious the anonymity of online forums and social sites allow some people to be.

And how much I really need to start extricating myself from the internet’s devious grasp.  I spend too much time arguing with asshats I don’t even know…because, even though I know it’s not my job to school people, there are some displays of douchebaggery I have a hard time just passing by.

So I thought, I need to handle this stuff better.  I thought…

WWJD?

But I don’t believe in Jesus.  Besides, my real question would be “Would Jesus Slap the Shit Out of Someone For This?”  But WJStSOoSFT is just not as pithy as WWJD…so, who could I emulate in these types of situations that would better fit my ideology AND this sweet acronym???

Here’s a few of the solutions I came up with, inspired by some of the best “J’s” ever…

Q:  Someone is being dick on the internet and I can’t punch them in the face…  What do I do???

A:

Q:   What would Johnny do?   A: Get High and Eat Cake

Q: What would Johnny do?
A: Get High and Eat Cake

A:

Q: What Would Jack Do? A: "The problem is not the problem.  The problem is your attitude about the problem" or... "I was my hands of this weirdness."

Q: What Would Jack Do?
A: “The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem”
or…
“I wash my hands of this weirdness.”

A:

Q: What Would Johnny (Knoxville) Do? A:  Break something, or hit someone in the balls and film it.

Q: What Would Johnny (Knoxville) Do?
A: Break something, or hit someone in the balls… and film it.

And if all else fails:

Q: What would John (Torrance) Do? A: Start talking to the voices and smashing shit up...

Q: What would John (Torrance) Do?
A: Start talking to the voices and smashing shit up…

This last one also begs the question, What Would Jack (Nicholson) Do?  The answer is probably the same.

Happy Tuesday!

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