And the Parent of the Year award goes to…
While I won’t be winning any awards this week (or singing “We Saw Your Boobs,”) I’m also sure I’m not the only parent that still has a potty-mouth. I know a lot of people feel that they won’t change when they have kids. Well, for obvious reasons, if you don’t change at all– even if in just a few very fundamental ways– you’re probably a dick who shouldn’t have had kids in the first place. You put your children first, you love them unconditionally, you are more fiercely protective of your child then you have ever been of anything or anyone else…ever.
Some people maybe do a 180– they fall headfirst into the mommy or daddy role (perhaps much to the chagrin of their single or childless friends.)
Aside from that, some people change very little. They generally enjoy most of the same past-times (even if they don’t get to enjoy them as often,) they probably still dres,s the same, act the same… speak the same.
Yep… I have always fervently defended my right to curse. I usually temper it slightly depending on company, but for the most part, I iz me, and me cuss a lot! You can deny it all you want, but in my opinion, saying “schizzle-nitz!” or whatever, when you crack your little toe on the coffee table at night just does not help you feel better comparable to an explosive “Fuck!” I also maintain that you’d have to say “shit” three times to get the relief of one good “fuck.”
But anyway… so my daughter J* is picking up words pretty rapidly now…new words every other day. And a still lot of that toddler jabber that only she understands. On occasions, hubs and I have heard things that sound suspiciously like curses, but as they are often apropos of nothing in particular, we really just can’t be sure…
Is she saying “shit,” or “sit?” in toddler-lisp?
I guess you all know where this going…
Last night, I was playing Resident Evil. Hubs and J* were each doing their thing.
Something annoying happens in the game; I probably got grabbed or knocked down but some gooey, deformed something-or-other. And I hissed, “Fuck!”
And like an echo, I hear off to my right, “Uck!”
Hubby and I look at one another– we’ve probably been in denial until now– and he says gently to J*, “Don’t say that word,baby.”
I add, “That’s a big girl word.”
And hubby amends “That’s a bad mommy word.”
*glare*
Well…we have no one to blame but ourselves… we curse a lot. I’d almost say we like to curse. Some people will get all snooty and say cursing is a sign of someone with a weak vocabulary. I assure you, that’s not the case here. My vocabulary is fine…better than fine, I’d wager (but to you Pious Pollys, thanks for your concern over my alleged impoverished vocabulary and its implicit reflection on my morality.)
But anyway… it got me thinking about the concept of curbing my tongue again. I’m rather fond of something my step-grandfather used to say– “Do as I say, not as I do.”
Are you going to go to bed at 7:30, just because your kid has to? No, because you’re the adult. Does setting a good example mean you can’t have a candy bar before dinner because your child can’t? No, because you are the adult, and you know you’ll still eat your dinner. Kids can’t drink, adults can. If you have friends over for a game of cards or Sunday football, are you not going to have a beer because your kid can’t and you “want to set a good example?” Not likely. And as long as you’re not raging drunk, there should be no issue with that. Well, you get the point.
However, I’ll not deny the merit of setting good behavioral examples. And I plan to set a good example for my child— kindness, compassion, fairness, (kindness to animals,) respect for elders, manners (holding doors, offering seats, tolerance, etc.) are all things I hope she learns by my and my husband’s examples.
Some might argue that language (particularly foul language) is a behavior. And maybe I’m a hypocrite because I yelled at my neighbor for saying the N-word in front of my kid. I guess I do draw the line somewhere. She is two and while it may be embarrassing to hear her repeat the F-word, the N-word is not something I want her repeating. No one should say it. And I’d rather have people thinking I am uncouth by cursing around my child, than a racist twat. After all, where would they assume she learned that word, if not from being around others who say it?
So I suppose, like anything else in parenting, your decisions regarding “cussing” in front of your kids is fairly relative or subjective. All parenting decisions are personal so long as the child is not in physical or emotional danger.
I’m curious though– to my fellow potty-mouth parents (or those with similar vises that we might not want our toddlers mimicking) …what are your tactic for dealing with the dreaded “Uck!”
- Potty Mouth (leiladayne.wordpress.com)
- The Hypocritical Oath (amalah.com)
alienredqueen 