ARQ’s Top 10 Reasons Quitting Smoking Sucks

So…I’m contemplating taking the leap again. Yes, that’s right, I’m going to…

ugh…quit smoking.

Curiously, my decision actually came the day before yesterday, before I found out my friend and neighbor went to the hospital for a triple bypass.  And I thought, to help me stay on course this time, I’d make a list of the top ten reason to quit smoking.  But that is just so ’90’s.  And it would probably be boring for you guys too.  AND…I’m probably gonna be a bit cranky for a while and need something besides cat memes to make me laugh.  So I’m gonna make a list of all the reasons why quitting smoking is gonna suck.

10.  I won’t have an excuse to stand outside and freeze my ass off with my coffee in the morning.

9.  I’ll be missing the perfect “dessert” to go with any greasy, fatty take-out I might order.

8.  I won’t have an excuse to put a crying, tamtrumy toddler in her playpen and leave for five minutes.

7.  I won’t be able to use chain-smoking to lubricate the gears of my brain while I attempt to write my best-seller.

6.  I won’t have something to keep my hands occupied and my nerves calm while I talk on the phone to my mother.

5.  What am I going to do with all this extra mucus in my head, if I no longer need it to clean out my sinuses?

4.  I won’t have that extra punch in the morning that gets my bowels moving regularly.  (You’re welcome.)

3.  I won’t have that extra nicotine boost to help keep the weight off, and will likely have to replace all my cigarette breaks with “Reese’s Cups Breaks.”

2.  Somehow, a stick of gum after sex just doesn’t have the same appeal.

And, the number one reason quitting smoking sucks…

1. Because Fuck You.  That’s why.

funny-pictures-cat-has-reason-for-naughtiness

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Weekend Introspection

–Sometimes I can be arrogant, and disdainful of other people… but I think at least some of the time, this stems from the frustration I feel at being unable to do anything significant to affect the bad behavior of others.

For instance, today while reading a blog entry on Own Your Shit, (don’t you just love that name?)  I realized after I posted it, how my comments could possibly be construed as arrogant.   I sound as if I feel superior, morally and intellectually, to those careless and self-involved enough to enjoy our beautiful world and yet pollute it with their garbage and ruin it for others.  In a way, I guess I do feel superior…but whether or not you agree with my assessment of their behavior or my own, I believe part of the reason I feel so resentful of them is my inability to reach enough of them to make a difference, and the very real likelihood that it wouldn’t make a difference even if I could.  You can’t argue with self-involved.  You can’t argue with stupid.

Image courtesy of http://littermob.blogspot.com/ .   Check out this site; their efforts on behalf of Mother Earth are commendable.

Image courtesy of “littermob“. Check out this site; their efforts on behalf of Mother Earth are commendable.

— The second “revelation” for the weekend is that maybe I need a change in my perspective when it comes to my smoking.  I should apply the same no bullshit philosophy I have on so many other things and with so many other people to myself.  Basically, you can’t have everything you want.  I should stop being selfish, because even though I enjoy smoking, it would be better for my health (and wallet) if I didn’t, and I owe it to my daughter to be healthy and provide a better example for her.

Oooor, I could just be rationalizing another excuse to quit smoking and thus reduce the anxiety I feel over it.

To Smoke or Not to Smoke…or to Smoke?

Annnnnd I’m a smoker again. I can no longer deny it. I have bought several packs of cigarettes and have started to feel the old “what if I run out of cigarettes” anxiety- which is exactly what I DIDN’T want to happen again. And I want to quit again. I really need to quit again. Which is stronger? The desire and/ or compulsion to smoke or the guilt and cognitive dissonance I feel by smoking (not to mention the fact that my sinuses get worse and I feel like I’m “dragging” a lot of the time)? The guilt I feel when my daughter sees me smoke and my fear that she will smoke one day?
Yesterday I happened on a memorium for those public figures who died in 2012. After reading through those sixty-odd names and descriptions, something happened to me. Likely the same thing that always happens to me when I think too much about death (even the ones where the people lived to, like 95, and died naturally.) I get all nervous and anxious. I don’t handle death well. Not real death, not the concept of it or it’s inevitability, and especially not the whole “ceasing to exist” idea.
Bottom line is, I may get hit by a bus tomorrow, or die of an aneurysm, but I’d like to not hasten my demise with cigarettes (although I maintain that if they we’re bad for you I certainly would keep smoking.) And I want to set a good example for my kid.
So I decided to quit again.

“HOLY SHIT! These things are bad for you? Shit, I thought they were good for you! I thought they had Vitamin C in them and stuff!” ~ Denis Leary

Just as soon as this pack is done.

To Smoke or Not to Smoke

It’s a cold turkey! Get it? Huh? Huh?

Spring came back and kicked Summer out for a few more days, and as I stood outside in the cool air this morning, drinking my vanilla nut coffee and trying to smoke one of my husband’s nasty menthol cigarettes, an interesting thought occurred to me.

You see, I quit smoking a little over 2 years ago, when I got pregnant with my daughter. Continue reading