I’ve been thinking about this a lot in the past couple of days, and what better day to stop thinking and write it all down than Mother’s Day?
I have been pretty hard on myself, especially lately. I’m sure there are a few reasons for that, but for this purpose I guess they are pretty irrelevant. What is important is my stomach is too fat, my nose is too big. I’m not pretty enough, I’m not a good enough mother. I spend too much time on the computer. I don’t keep the house clean enough. I’m a naggy wife. I’m not successful enough. I screw things up.
And as I looked at my poochy belly the other day and once more thought to myself “that’s just disgusting,” I realized something important;
I love my daughter more than anything, and I want her to grow up loving herself and knowing she is special. I would love her even if her nose was too big or she had a pudgy belly…and SHE loves me no matter what I look like (or clean like or what I screw up.)
How can I expect her to love herself, though, when I am not setting that example for her by loving myself? When she gets a little older and comes to me and says, “Mommy, I don’t like my nose,” or “Mommy, am I fat?” (and it may happen considering all the pressure put on girls and women to be beautiful,) how can I tell her she is beautiful no matter what when I don’t believe that for myself?
So, for her sake, if not for my own, I am going to make an effort to be kinder to myself, and see in me all the good that I see and want for her.
I love you, baby. You’re beautiful.
photo ©Cynthia Gemmill and alienredqueen
