My Christmas “Wish In One Hand” List

I’m still kind of like a little kid at Christmastime.  Now that I’m older, I can get excited about giving presents as well as getting.  I’m not gonna lie; I like getting presents. For the past couple of years, hubby and I haven’t been in a financial position to exchange gifts for Christmas, birthdays, or anniversaries.  But that doesn’t stop me from “window shopping.”  So here’s my “Wish in one hand” list.  

First, I’ve been wanting a new pair of boots for a while now.  Although my knee-high hooker boots have seen better days, they’re still wearable.  But I still want a new pair, with a lower heel.

Doc Martens, my old-school favorite. I still have three or four pairs around here…but, they don’t have buckles.

Cobb Hill Bridget Dress boots; functional and fashionable

Martino “Logan” Boots…a nice cross between the above two…and still with the buckles.

Next on the list, money for some more ink.  I can’t be wearing these bad-ass boots without some new bad-ass ink to go with it.  I wanna work on a half sleeve, adding to what I already have on this tattoo:

And I also want to get a new tattoo:

A Perfect Circle…cuz Maynard‘s the man…  I think I’ll have his love child.

Well, there are a crap-ton of things I would love to have, and a crap-ton more me and my family could use, but at present, these are the top things I want, that I am unlikely to be able to afford on my own anytime soon…hence the name of the list.  Oh well…

Guess I’ll have to settle for family and fellowship and all that shit… I mean, all that great stuff!

 But seriously…I am looking forward to Christmas this year because I get to go back to my home state and see my family… with my husband this time.   Last year I flew back, just me and the baby because hubby couldn’t get off work.   Managing airport security with a one year old and all of her accouterments is pure hell!  This year, hubby is coming and my baby gets to see her extended family, which is all I can really ask for.

‘Eff’ you, skinny jeans!

Recently I was disturbed to find that I backslid with my weight-loss efforts, and that I had regained most if not all of the ten pounds I had lost over the past year.  I was extremely discouraged to discover that I no longer fit into the new jeans I got last year (that I love so much. )  I’ve been wearing yoga pants for most of the summer.

So I had to go and buy “fat jeans.”  When I came home with a pair of size 11 LEIs (for some reason they just seemed to fit the best, better than the women’s size 10 in other brands,) I was happy to have some new jeans, but very discouraged after all the “trying on” and by the fact that my other LEIs after my weight-loss were size 7!

Then, a day or so later, my neighbor gave me a pair of her old jeans that no longer fit her.  They fit, albeit I would have them maybe a half size larger if I had my choice…   And they were size 5.

And a revelation I’ve had before came to me anew (I guess that makes it a re-revelation???)  Size 5 jeans now are not the same as size five jeans ten years ago.  The sizes are getting smaller.  Today’s jeans are made for girls without figures…  basically prepubescent girls or girls built like 12 year old boys.  I need to go one size larger just to fit my ass into a pair of jeans.  Maybe this is because I am trying to wear junior sizes, you might suggest. (I am petite and also I find the cut and style of junior clothing generally more appealing.) Well, it used to be if you are size 5 in juniors, you’d likely wear a size 4/6 in women’s.  Following this logic, I purchased a size 11 in juniors, but I should be able to fit a size 10/12  in women’s. (We already know the tens I tried didn’t work.)   Yet these 5s from almost a decade ago fit almost perfectly.  Incidentally, my “skinny” jeans from last year, they’re a size 7.

So what does that tell me, aside from the fact that the sizes are getting inexplicably smaller?  Well, to me, whether on accident or by design, clothing manufacturers are encouraging the already dangerous trend in society that propagates self-criticism and self-esteem problems in women.  It’s bad enough that average women are told repeatedly through pop culture’s fashion and tendencies that any fat is bad, that anything less than a model’s body is bad, now they have to be reminded every time they try on a pair of jeans.

Now maybe some of you think I am probably just a bitter fat woman who just sits on her ass but complains about being fat.  Rest assured, I have been exercising five to six days a week religiously for the past two to three months, and I have once again started keeping track of my food intake.  As to my weight, while I am over my ideal weight by about fifteen pounds, I am not fat.

I love to eat and because of that I’m not losing through calorie restriction as much as I’d like, but I do feel stronger and more empowered from my exercise routines, so eff you, skinny jeans!  I will fit into you again, but until I do, I will not allow the size of my jeans to dictate my body image.

 

Related: 

http://blogs.prevention.com/get-fit/2012/06/05/your-jeans-not-genes-can-motivate-weight-loss/