Why My Cats Don’t Know Their Names

Quite simply put, if you don’t count all the profanity we shout at them when they do bad things (for a couple of weeks straight, I referred to my Bengal cat as “you little bitch“), my cats still have so many nicknames, even nicknames of nicknames, it’s kinda ridiculous.

Evangeline (named after a character in a Clive Barker novel)

Given name: Evangeline

Nicknames: Putters (as in, “I taut I taw a putty tat”), Princess Putter Pants, Neeners

Okay, hers aren’t too bad.

Methos (named after the Highlander character…yeah, we’re dorks)

Given name: Methos (Miː-thoʊs)

Nicknames: Toes, Meathead, Meatball,  Meaty-Toes, Toe-toe, Little Bastage (like bastard…only not), Toe-de-odee-oes, Knot-head, Big Boy, Buddy, Mr. Man, and Man-man

Chloe (she came with that name at three years of age, so we just left it)

Given Name: Chloe

Nickname: Chlo-bear, Bear, Bear-bear, Bearzer, Biscuit, Biz, Biz-Biz, Bizzy, Bizzy-Bear, Biscuit-Butt, Chloeby (Kloʊbe)

I’m sure there are some I’ve forgotten for one or all of them, but you get the idea.  And now we’re doing it to my poor kid too.  One day, someone will ask me why we call our daughter “Minkin’ (It’s not even CLOSE to her real name.)  Where to start…?

What are some of the odd nicknames you have for your pets?

The Kurgan – The Original Rock Fashionista?

All the same person? 

Robin Finck

Robin Finck (Nine Inch Nails)

The Kurgan

“It’s better to burn out than to fade away!”
(Clancy Brown as The Kurgan)

Twiggy Ramirez

Twiggy Ramirez (playing live with Marilyn Manson)

Twiggy Ramirez (aka Jeordie White)

and finally, my friend Fil, now probably better known as Abbey Nex

Abbey Nex (Combichrist)

Hey, if you can’t see the similarities, I don’t know what to tell ya.  Robin Finck was posted first, because it was while watching the NIN March of the Pigs video that this train of thought first began to derail.  Although, in all fairness, The Kurgan would have to get the credit for being the trendsetter here, as he was born in, like, 1008BC.   And please don’t think I’m poking fun (although I am having fun!)  I love all of these guys for different reasons…aaaaaand maybe I also have a little thing for tall, lean guys with long, dark hair and no eyebrows.  I blame Marilyn Manson.  Why not?  He won’t mind.  Everyone else blames him for everything anyway!