Got word today via Facebook (again! Damn you with your double edged sword of keeping me in touch with people/always being the “first” to break bad news.) I suppose I should just be glad I found out at all, living as far away from most of my high school friends as I do. We lost another person from our graduating class. It feels like our class has lost quite a few people these past few years. We’re only 32-34 years old. We’ve lost friends to epilepsy, cancer, suicide, even murder.
My friend Scott passed this weekend. He was one of my homeroom buddies back in high school, and unlike a lot of Facebook “acquaintances,” we actually did still interact with one another on Facebook. Oddly, in some ways I learned more about him from Facebook than our time back in high school– like, for instance, what a sensitive soul he actually was. This is so weird because…and I know it sounds so obvious it’s stupid, but… he was just here not too long ago. Now he’s not.
It seems most of us (that is, the people in our class, our “mutual friends” on Facebook,) don’t know cause of death; it’s being kept quiet right now…which for me tends to rule out accident, illness, etc. And I guess it doesn’t really matter how he died. He is just as gone. And yet, knowing seems to be a piece in coming to terms with the loss…and in some cases, satisfying a sort of morbid curiosity many of us feel towards the death of someone we know who is not necessarily in our immediate circle of friends. Along the same vein, I can’t help but be annoyed by the requisite number of busybodies and drama mongers (online), attempting to put themselves in the middle of everything, trying to make the loss somehow more about them. (You disgust me, but this isn’t the time for me to call you out on it.)
Because of the internet and social networking, we are now highly in tune with the everyday goings-on of people we might not get to otherwise interact with regularly. We get our news fast (sometimes too fast, and in a less than sensitive manner.) It makes me wonder, are all these losses just a normal part of “growing up,” aging? Are the amount of deaths in our age group just the relatively normal “fall off” of people, and we are only so aware of it because of the internet?
It’s also weird to think about it…like I said, he was here, now he’s not. Chances are, he didn’t know he wouldn’t be here today. Did he know how many people would miss him? Tag his name in Facebook statuses and say nice things about him…
And (quietly) *to myself*…
One day will I be just a tagged name on Facebook?
In Memory Of Scott (1981-2014)
Rest In Peace, Jer and Ricky
Things Not to Say/Rest in Peace, Greg