No, You CAN’T Have My Picture! (re-blog)

My second article written specifically for To The Controller! Gaming. Check it out!

Are female gamers still such a novelty that random boys/men on the gaming network inevitably feel the need to hit on us via headset or network messages?  In a way I suppose this could qualify as an adjunct to my article on gaming etiquette.  For example, rule #4:  No, you may not have my picture!

I suppose I should be flattered…but, really, what’s flattering about a man/boy so desperate for a hook-up that he’s slobbering over his controller and already making plans to include you in his mental spank bank before he even knows what you look like?  I mean, let’s face it; we know in their warped little minds, these guys are imagining you sitting there in nothing but a pair of panties and a sports bra, one leg thrown over the arm of the sofa, controller in hand, “massive bosom” heaving with the excitement and effort of running your character around cyber-space, slaying enemies mercilessly- and the bigger the gun, the better.

Wait…how do they know what I’m wearing?!  Um, nevermind.   We’re not talking about me, here!

But hold on a minute.  I’ll admit a certain amount of curiosity when I actually run into a guy on the network who speaks English (assuming he has a headset, because a surprising amount of gamers do not) and might be around my age.  It doesn’t happen as often as I would have thought, given the size of the PSN.  And after all, I’m 30 years old (a very young thirty, thank you!) and in my limited experience in online gaming (PC as well as console,) the majority of people I have encountered are…well, kids.  Does it really matter in the greater gaming scheme of things?  No, I don’t suppose so.  Assuming they conduct themselves with maturity (which isn’t necessarily guaranteed even with supposed “adult” gamers,) then these kids play just as well as anyone else, and probably better.  It’s just that it’s nice to have people to talk to who are your own age; they tend to be like-minded in many ways and have similar  responsibilities (like a job and kids) as you.

When I play co-op with someone and I feel like we had a good “working” relationship- that is, we played well together, and I felt like we were in sync in all the right ways, I’ll often send them a friend request.   More often than not, I find a friend request from them already awaiting me in my inbox. However, my “relationship” with any of these people stops after the friend request.

I understand it can be awkward when you’re playing with someone new, and you both have mics, and maybe you don’t really speak the same language, but they know a bastardized version of your language, so you do your best to hold up your end of the conversation.  Then it starts to get personal.

This actually happened to me the other day.  The conversation went something like this (I’ll give you the bare bones of it) :

Guy: (broken English) What color hair you have?  My wife wants to know.

(His wife…right.)

Me: You won’t believe me…  It’s green.  Green and black.  ( He probably thinks I’m making fun of him, but that really is the “colour du jour” for me this month.)

Guy:  What’s your name?  How old are you?

Me: (laugh uncomfortably and give him my screen name.)  

Guy: (He laughs too, but I think he’s laughing at me, like  “Silly bitch, tricks are for kids.” At any rate, not satisfied with the first answer I gave, he’ll ask me my name again in about 2 minutes.)  (after I mention my daughter in passing, he tells me he has one as well) How many kids you have?  How old is she?  

Me: (after trying to explain she’s 20 months, and him repeatedly claiming he doesn’t understand what I am saying, I give up and say she’s two.)

Guy: So you just have the two?

Me: No, I just have the one, a girl.  She’s two years old, like yours.

By now, I am distinctly uncomfortable, a little bit due to the strange Q & A, but mostly because the language barrier is making normal conversation a bit tricky.   Why do I feel bad when I can’t understand someone’s butchered attempt of my language?   It’s not my fault that I don’t speak their language, any more than it’s their fault that they don’t speak mine.  Nevertheless, I do find it awkward trying to find the right words when the other person only has a handful of English at their disposal, but insists on attempting anymore than a superficial conversation.

But he keeps talking, so I keep trying to answer.  In the interest of good gaming.  After all, he’s not a bad partner.

Guy:  How many kids you want?  Ten, fifteen?

Me: (laughing- By now I know he lives in Saudi Arabia, and maybe ten kids is normal for there.  I dunno.  Is it?) No-ooo.  Maybe two or three (if that!)

Anyhow, to make a long story…not as long… my husband goes online to play one of his games and comes across a message in my inbox from the guy.  He is saying something like “I want see u picture of me.” 

I think he wants a picture of you, hon.”

“Maybe he’s saying he wants to send me a picture of him,” I reply, decoding it in the way that will make me the least uncomfortable.

“I-iiii don’t think so,” hubs says, laughing.

He has a wife.  I have a husband.  But that has never stopped people in the past from cheating, and the fact of me being married has never stopped men from shamelessly hitting on me anyway.  Soooo… I’m going to do the diplomatic thing here and just… ignore it and pretend I never saw the message.  It’s a good thing I’m so mature.  In the meantime, maybe the maturity level of gaming boys will increase as the existence of female gamers becomes more commonplace.  But probably not.


To the Controller! Gaming

Are female gamers still such a novelty that random boys/men on the gaming network inevitably feel the need to hit on us via headset or network messages?  In a way I suppose this could qualify as an adjunct to my article on gaming etiquette.  For example, rule #4:  No, you may not have my picture!

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2 responses to “No, You CAN’T Have My Picture! (re-blog)

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