Why My Cats Don’t Know Their Names

Quite simply put, if you don’t count all the profanity we shout at them when they do bad things (for a couple of weeks straight, I referred to my Bengal cat as “you little bitch“), my cats still have so many nicknames, even nicknames of nicknames, it’s kinda ridiculous.

Evangeline (named after a character in a Clive Barker novel)

Given name: Evangeline

Nicknames: Putters (as in, “I taut I taw a putty tat”), Princess Putter Pants, Neeners

Okay, hers aren’t too bad.

Methos (named after the Highlander character…yeah, we’re dorks)

Given name: Methos (Miː-thoʊs)

Nicknames: Toes, Meathead, Meatball,  Meaty-Toes, Toe-toe, Little Bastage (like bastard…only not), Toe-de-odee-oes, Knot-head, Big Boy, Buddy, Mr. Man, and Man-man

Chloe (she came with that name at three years of age, so we just left it)

Given Name: Chloe

Nickname: Chlo-bear, Bear, Bear-bear, Bearzer, Biscuit, Biz, Biz-Biz, Bizzy, Bizzy-Bear, Biscuit-Butt, Chloeby (Kloʊbe)

I’m sure there are some I’ve forgotten for one or all of them, but you get the idea.  And now we’re doing it to my poor kid too.  One day, someone will ask me why we call our daughter “Minkin’ (It’s not even CLOSE to her real name.)  Where to start…?

What are some of the odd nicknames you have for your pets?

5 responses to “Why My Cats Don’t Know Their Names

  1. HHHHHHHHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAA! This is exactly why I named my latest rescue “PP” because “PP” and “Baby” and “Keeeteee” and “MiMi” all sound the same…her name was “Precious” when I adopted her, and I just couldn’t go there.

  2. Hahah, great post! Só many nicknames!

    I give my two cats nicknames as well. We even did it when I lived back with my parents. We had a dog, and my mom has so many nicknames. A new one every week or so. Anyway…

    Hiro: Boef/Boefje (Dutch for little thief), Kerel (Dutch for chap, bloke, dude, guy), Kleine (dutch for little (little one)). Or crazy cat, which I also say in Dutch.

    Suki: Trut (meaning: Bitch, but in a less rude way. The right word is ‘twat’ maybe). Girl (but in Dutch, so that makes ‘Meisje’). Sook, SOOKEEEH.

    I think I gave you a Dutch word lesson. 😛

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